Don’t sugar-coat it. If you are ending a relationship, tell it straight.
I’m telling you, you won’t do the person any good when you sugar-coat your “break-up statement.”
It is better for the other person to hear “Wala na tayo,” than a sugar-coated, bogus statement like, “It’s not yet the right time.”
What do you think would the other person assume about the “It’s not yet the right time?”
Of course, he or she would think to wait for the right time, thinking you are still in love with him or her, and that your only problem is the time. And the result?
That person won’t enjoy thorough healing. Unfair, isn’t it?
I experienced receiving such bogus statement. I saw my friends had the same experience from their past relationships. Thus, we seemed to hang on still to the persons who broke our heart. We got confused.
“Mahal pa rin niya ako pero kelangan naming mag-break?”
I’m telling you. There nothing more confusing than “I-love-you-but…” break-up statements.
“Mahal kita but it’s not yet the right time.”
“Mahal kita kaso hindi pa ako ready.”
What?! Seriously, dude? Make up your mind! What do you think would the other person assume?
“Hindi pa right time? I’ll wait for the right time.”
“Hindi pa ready? I’ll wait for him (or her) to be ready.”
Such thoughts may run on a person’s mind when you give him or her bogus statement rather than telling it straight. Why? Because relationships are emotional attachment.
Emotional attachment is formed by words and actions. You are sending the wrong message of “I’m still attached to you but…”
Remember, you are breaking an emotional attachment. So cut it off! Don’t play with the other person’s heart by sugar-coating your statements! Walang way para ‘di siya masaktan kasi masasaktan talaga siya. The more you tried to “unhurt” him or her by sugar-coating your words, the deeper his or her wound would be. Mas paaasahin mo siya na may possibility na magkabalikan kayo, when in reality, wala naman pala. At kapag umasa siya sa “possibility” ninyong dalawa despite the break-up, mahihirapan siyang magmove on.
There is nothing more unfair than giving someone false hopes. Bakit ka magbibigay ng hint that you still love him or her when in reality, you are moving on without him or her? Seriously, dude?
And one more thing. Never use God as an excuse.
“Mahal kita pero mas mahal ko si God. I need to obey God. Magbreak na tayo.”
What made you think na magkakaintindihan kayo by saying “God told me so?” Please, bakit ‘di mo sabihin ‘yung totoong dahilan? I’m sure there’s a lot more reasons of your break-up than “God told me so…”
God did not forced you into any relationship. So don’t use Him as an excuse.
“Wala na tayo. I’m releasing you. I have no business in your life anymore. Be healed and then, feel free to love someone else.”
Release the person. You are giving both of you a favor when you release each other. And when you released him or her, huwag mo ng landiin pa. Please. Give him or her the healing he or she deserves.